wow, this day (actually last nught) i welcome the new members in my family. please welcome cits' children (my beloved cats) ^^
FYI, last night i waited her bore the babies... that was an amazing time for me coz that was the 1st time i saw a cat delivered babies... the moment when she felt the pain, the moment when she pushed her womb, those moment i won't forget..
welcome the new members...
it's been a week since i didn't play with my cats huhuhu... T_T
i miss their eyes, their faces, their acts, their pur, their way when they're sleeping...
i just miss my cats...
God, please take care my beloved cats...
Cultivate your hunger, before you idealize.
Motivate your anger, to make them all realize.
Climbing the mountain, never coming down.
Break into the contents, never falling down.
Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.
the naruto's lyrics tickled my mind... more or less i felt the same just like the song...
I've tried to do the best i can but it seemed the ending never been right. it sad me. i just wanted every one liked me, however, it's hard to make all people liked us coz we can't force them...
at least i have friends that are genuine.. i don't need them who are phony... i'm happy as i am...
I feel it, the wind of change...
Neverland where children won't grow up... I am afraid of being grown up... I don't wanna grow up... I have to be growing up. Otherwise, the world won't accept me... But i don't wanna grow up for sure... I don't like the circle of life... it's not because of the death... I am not afraid of death, maybe i do little... I just don't want to grow up since i am not a person that suit to be a good grown up... Maybe, you think that i am a weird person, but it's the way it is... Perhaps in the future, one day, i do want to grow up... however, now i want to search my own NEVERLAND and never be growing up...
I am not myself anymore... There are too much hatred in me... I hate my house for it's not a home... I hate Pa for you're not such a Pa... I hate Big B for you're pathetic... I hate little B for I don't understand you... I hate my friends for they're hypocrite... I hate people for they care themselves... I hate my world for the world deserts me... I hate my eyes for it's so arrogant... I hate my smile for it's so cunning... I hate my heart for it's so dark... I hate my mind for it's so evil... I hate myself for I hate everything... I am not myself anymore... I am drowning in deep darkness...
it's been a long time since i wrote my last blog. i think i need a lot of time to think what i'm gonna write. i don't know whether i can call it as a metamorphosis or not since i don't change much. now i'm trying to improve myself better by using a hijab, if i can say it is a hijab. some of my friends asked me why i finally decided to wear a hijab. i didn't know what to answer, since i've just followed my heart. i thought at that moment that it's the right time for me to change, (hopefully not only my dress but the whole). i don't know whether it's a hidayah or not but i feel my spiritual soul need that change. since now i'm wearing a hijab i hope i can commit to myself and wish that GOD is always with me.
mungkin agak telat klo gw blg skrg new term secara udh midterm gini ya sud.
ngomong2 ttg midterm, secara baru slesai uts ada yg agk bkin gw bertanya2
knp plajaran musti di ujianin sih, kan yang ada ntr org2 pd ngejer nilai bukan ilmunya
i like study in university, i do,i can have new information about the world and society, tp klo ujian hmmm gmn yahhhh???
gw merasa bruntung bgt msk english departement di faculty of humanites of university of indonesia, why???
krn gw bisa bnyak tahu ttg bnyk hal, femisnisme, filsafat, pragmatik, wacana, dll
Finally,relieved bo.... musim uas akhirnya berakhir juga ^-^ diawali sama poetry exhibition diakhiri dengan aussie...bener2 cape padahal semester ini cuma 18 sks.... ujian uas yang hmmm.... ^_^? apalagi syntax, soalnya bener2 unpredictable bgt T_T mr.d... why you gave me such "a nice birthday present" hiks...hiks... kesan ttg semester 4 smester itu smester yg nano-nano mulai dari bnyak baca n ngetik, dari laporan prosa smpe aussie, baca dari novel yg bkin pusing dan mual (anak kls prosa psti tau ^-^) sampe novel yg menggugah hati...dari poetry sampai sleeping pills, pokoknya campur-campur smua deh ada disini. smester 4 gw juga suka sma dosennya... for my aussie lecturer: thank you for giving me a new horizon about a country, when we can meet again??? If you know yah, I adore bgt loh sm my lecturer itu,sebenarnya gw adore sm smua lecturer yg pintar,especially women. the last but not least, goodbye semester 4, welcome semester pendek (yg mulainya 12 juni ini nih)... nah tuh kan gak jadi slesai tuh, gw heran yah sama fib yang uang spnya mahal bgt boooo per sks, lw imagine aja yah per sks 150 ribu, stahu gw fe aja gak smahal itu deh, fib pling dos... tp yo wes lah ntar klo ngomong panjang lebar jd runyam nih..
gile yeh gw sedih ngeliat berita di infotainment ttg halimah (istrinya bambang loh).gw sbagai perempuan bisa memaklumi yang halimah buat,istri mana yang rela suaminya dibagi,jelas aja halimah marah.itulah indonesia laki2nya setiap merasa punya duit banyak langsung bawaannya pengen punya istri lagi,para lelaki yang gak tahan punya istri satu pasti alasannya langsung bilang kalo diagama aja gak dilarang n nabi aja punya istri 4,cuman mereka sadar gak sih klo konteksnya tuh beda.okelah nabi gw punya istri lebih dari satu tapi itu dengan dasar dakwah n karena pd saat itu bnyak wanita yg jadi jnda karena suaminya mati di perang,tp kalo sekarang laki2 pengen punya istri lebih dari satu itu kan karena mereka libidonya gak pernah puas,gw heran yah kenapa kalo laki2 punya istri banyak itu hal yang lumrah di sini, n mereka dimasa puber mereka yang berkali2 tetap aja diwajarin. gw pernah denger omongan wajar koQ kalo laki2 itu tergila2 sm cw kalo mereka udah beristri karena laki2 itu pubernya pas masa2 umur 30-60 tahunan, jadi wajar aja klo mereka ngelirik2 sana-sini.koQ bisa yah hal yang kaya gitu diwajarin...???
